Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Myth: Giving Up Hope

I will likely never be the one giving one of those fun, creative announcements... I will likely never walk into a room full of unsuspecting family and friends wearing a 'Baby on Board' tee only to have everyone leap up with excitement. In that particular fantasy, everyone is crying... including me. I think it's the only daydream where I relish the thought of everyone weeping. Tears of joy, of course.

When The Len and I realized we were meant to lead a child-free life, there was so much peace and healing that came with it that part of me longed to make an announcement.

Turns out the 'we're-living-a-child-free-life' announcement is not one that most know how to deal with. I should have anticipated that, of course. What I hadn't anticipated, however, was the assumption that we were giving up. Many assumed that hope was lost... the we were beaten past our resistance point and were waving the white flag of surrender and defeat.

Some replied with, 'Well, we'll keep praying that it happens for you!' or 'We won't give up hope!'

I don't hold these responses against anyone. I know very well how anomalous our life is compared to most of those around us. We understand how it must appear that we don't 'just adopt', and we have no issue explaining how we feel adoption is a calling God places on families, and not just the next treatment step in the stages of infertility.

But this week I am taking up the challenge to bust an infertility myth: choosing to live child-free does not equal hopeless, empty or less. Instead, we choose to embrace our life as God intended it: a life overflowing with rich blessing, joy and thankfulness. There may not be children, but a family lives within these four walls.

What's more, the Lord restored my hope through all of this. Despite the remaining grief that lingers with infertility, I have hope and joy for the future... I look forward with great anticipation to what else He has in store for us, and I pray that He uses this family of ours richly in His kingdom.

We are still infertile.
We no longer actively pursue any path to parenthood.
We consider our family complete as two.

Not because infertility beat us to a point of defeat.
Not because we never wanted children in the first place.
And most certainly not because we gave up hope.

Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
~Psalm 63:3-5 (NLT)~


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