XXXII

Subtitle: European Observations

Closed captioning available in German, Swiss German and Thelma's German, which is essentially not a language, but sounds like one and makes me feel exotic. 

1. 
   
   If you order water in Germany, you don’t get just water. Not tap water, at any rate. You get sparkling mineral water, which apparently is more refreshing and delicious than regular old water.  As one who has never like pop because of the carbonation, I heartily disagree.  Thankfully, there is also 'still' water.
2. In many ways, the country side surrounding the village of Issum reminds me of home; were it not the foreign signage, the lack of speed limits and the distinctly European architecture, I could be convinced that I spent hours on a plane but never left. Lots of lots of corn which, apparently, they don't grow in Ireland, since my colleague walked into a field of it to try and figure out what it was.
3. Even though my room at the German bed and breakfast was king-sized, I only got half a comforter. I’m not really sure why.  I wonder whether my company only paid half the deposit on the room.  Had we paid in full, perhaps I would have received a full-sized blanket.
4. I’ve eaten schnitzel. I did not get to eat any strudel, unfortunately. I did, however, eat a red berry that made my eyes fall out at how sour it was.  My colleagues found that highly entertaining.  There was some pretty amazing food at the dinner on Wednesday, but I'm not sure what any of it was called in English.  Apparently asking a German to translate Swiss German is like asking me to read Turkish.  Who knew?
5. Holy fast driving, Batman! Obviously I knew this coming into this trip, but it’s another thing to actually be in the passenger seat while the car zips along at Mach3.  Since, as I mentioned above, it’s mostly farmland surrounding this group of small villages, there are occasional signs warning about deer.  It requires physical effort not to think about that might happen if we hit a deer going 180km/hr.
6. I watched twenty minutes of Ugly Betty in German. I have no idea what happened, but even in a foreign language it was enough for me to know it’s not my kind of show.
7. On my flight to Paris, they fed us dinner and breakfast on the plane.  With dinner, the packet of sugar that they gave us was long and skinny.  Foolish me, I assumed that all the rest of the sugar packets would be the same. Imagine my surprise when I went to open what I assumed was a wetnap (based on size) and received a lap full of sugar.
8. Toilet paper here is the thickness of cardstock, and paper towels are more like dinner napkins.
9. The toilets themselves deserve their own post.  More on that later.
10. Whoever maintains Autobahn 61 between Germany and Switzerland needs to do a better job of trimming back the trees and building shorter guard rails so that those of us who don’t have time to sightsee can still attempt to take photos while driving.  Or being a passenger.  Or generally driving too fast to see anything.
11. There are many funny phrases and words in foreign languages that make me giggle.  Booger Recycling, for example, in Holland.  The German word for exit: Ausfahrt.  The Dutch phrase for buckle up: Gordels op!  Too fun.
12. The Nissan Micra is still made in Europe. I'm going to buy one and have my colleague in Germany send it to me on the next container.  That's reasonable, right? I love that car...
13. There actually is 'Thelma's German'. Sunday night I was getting ready for bed and started murmering to myself in words that sounded German but meant nothing.  I caught myself doing it and had a good little laugh.  Then I fell asleep.  I'm blaming the exhaustion.  For the record, I said something along the lines of: "Schlosslabflugen aufschleberbahn."  That means, "Man, I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep now."