Life

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” – Wesley, The Princess Bride

I would add: life is crazy busy, unpredictable and sometimes just plain nutso. Adding that would of course make it a less memorable quote, and would likely not have made its way into the screenplay for The Princess Bride. But it’s all true, nonetheless.

And so, after a two week absence in the blogging world, I am leaping back in as if I’d never left. It’s my blog. I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to do that.

Last night I ran outside. When I left work, the sun was still high in the sky and shining brilliantly and the weather was relatively mild. Even though we’ve had our first real dump of snow, the warmish weather has caused some serious melting and most of the roads and sidewalks are already clear again. So instead of hitting the gym last night, I drove home.

Keep in mind I didn’t work out at all last week. Ok, I tried on Tuesday, but that ended in tears and a nasty battle between ‘Old Me’ and ‘New Me’. Let’s just say Old Me got New Me cornered, it ended with me sitting on the floor of the gym crying, driving home and needing Len to climb into the ring to beat back Old Me because by that time, New Me was broken and bleeding.

Annnyyhooo…

I decided that with the extra-curriculars I had on the go last week, I would give myself a break from the gym. I knew going into yesterday’s run that there would be pain. Lots and lots of pain. The thought of running outside, however, seemed worth it. Don’t get me wrong.. I’m so grateful to have access to the treadmill during these winter months, and I will continue to take advantage of that. But I needed a run outside to remind me why I love running.

And remind me it did.

I put on my Runderwear (yes, it’s actually called that), another shirt and my waffle-weave sweater and hit the pavement. It was cooler that I thought once I got out there, and I was automatically reminded of something I had forgotten about running outside: the wind. Brr… I’m going to have to wear a toque and some mittens next time.

The most amazing thing was that it wasn’t a fight. I was just running… the way it always is when I’m outside. The time and 3.5K flew by, and before I knew it, I was on the home stretch. The pain was bad; I had to stop several times to stretch my screaming muscles but it was worth it. At one point I wanted to walk so badly. I was torn between replaying Jillian Michaels yelling ‘Dig deep!’ or praying. I decided to pray and God gave me what I needed to manage another decent stretch before slowing to catch my breath.

I’m the type of person that compares myself to others. When I’m in a row of treadmills and the people on either side of me are kicking out a solid run at a much higher speed, it’s so hard not to just feel like the fat girl who’s kidding herself. I try to tell myself that if they were carrying the extra pounds that I am they’d be struggling too, but that just feels like a fat girl’s excuse.

I needed the run outside. I needed it to just be me, the road, my music and my desire to be more for God than a fat lump on the couch. And He knows our needs. I love that the God of the universe will give us what we need, even when it seems ridiculous that He would stoop down for such a simple thing. So I ran: because He put it in me and gave me the strength and a sunny day to do it. He even began the early sketches of a glorious sunset for the last leg home.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." - Paul, Philippians 4:19