No numbers

I love the Biggest Loser. Love it. We don’t have TV or Hulu but we have the internet and the ability to download. So that’s what we do.

The inspiration is unbelievable.

Some girls and I are doing a mock Biggest Loser on the community forum I’m a part of. I’ve done competition before but this time I’m taking it seriously. I want to lose 25 pounds this year, run another 5K and generally be more fit. And I want the blood work results I got a few weeks ago to stick around for a very long time. I don’t expect to win anything besides a sense of satisfaction, private victories and personal growth.

Losing weight used to be about numbers before. I was miserable and trapped at whatever weight wasn’t that number. I always imagined reaching that number would be a magic cure: all the other junk of life would disappear. I would be happy and free.

This time has felt different. Watching the BL contestants wrestle with the internal turmoil that trapped them in obesity in the first place has confirmed to me that the changes I’ve been experiencing (not just physically, but emotionally) can make this the real thing. Not to reach a magic number, but to be free. To stay free.

I wonder sometimes if those who pop by here wonder why I’m so transparent with some things. After all, I have no idea who visits here. I have some idea, and occasionally people will come up to me and reply in person, but transparency seems like a pretty big risk, doesn’t it?

I promise I’m not transparent about everything; about those things that I feel could help others, however, I post confidently. Not because I like to air my garbage, scratch the itch of the nosy or elicit unnecessary sympathy but because if something I say strikes a chord with someone who needed to hear it, I want it to be there for them. I believe God uses this blog; I don’t know how exactly and that’s fine but if He has work I need to do here, I’m going to do it. Plain and simple.

And so I’m going to talk about it. I’m going to add a label here called ‘Last Chance Workout’ (hopefully not breaking any trademark or copyright issues by calling it that!) and post on Monday about my work outs and about pushing myself to prove that I am capable of the things that always seemed impossible. I’m going to use the word obese, as much as I hate that word and would prefer not to think about it. I might talk about food or calories; the details are still uncertain.

No numbers. See? Not transparent about everything! The numbers aren’t what are important. Numbers don’t inspire people. Numbers are daunting and scary and seem entirely unachievable.

I may even be open to answering questions. I hesitate on that only because I never want to put myself out there as a guru. I’m still learning. But I’ll share what’s worked with me if you have something specific you’re wondering about.

So there it is. My main push is that what the contestants on BL do can be done at home. You may think you need Bob and Jillian to be perched on the treadmill yelling at you, but you don’t. You may not want to push yourself through to the pain to reach a new goal but it doesn’t mean you can’t. Those contestants aren’t following a fad diet. They’re working hard, counting calories, changing their lives and inspiring ours. You can do the same.

I promise.
I’m proof.

Well, maybe not yet. But I plan to be.