Monday, February 02, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

Also known as: the most stressful morning I can remember.

This is what happens when you spend too much time blogging in your head. On the weekend I was spontaneously gifted a gorgeous pashmina from C, who happened to be in town and able to attend my birthday brunch. As I snuggled into it this morning again, I pondered whether to include my thoughts on scarf wearing for Angie over at Bring the Rain, who has decided to make 2009 the Year of the Scarf. At any rate, my thoughts of recording a stunning video interfered with my ability to get ready in the morning, which went something like this:

6:15 – Len hauls me out of a delicious slumber with a kiss and a ‘Happy Birthday’.
6:15:20 – I mumble, ‘It’s my birthday?’ (This is a hint of things to come.)
6:20 – I stagger downstairs to receive the first of many requisite birthday hugs.
6:21 – I hop in shower and slowly wake up. As I am standing under the delicious stream of hot water, I forget whether I’ve already washed my hair. I err on the side of caution, and wash it again.
6:30 – I towel dry my hair, apply face cream and check to see if I look any older. Official inspector refuses to comment. Hum Happy Birthday under my breath.
6:31 – I turn on the computer to see whether anyone has commented on my latest blog. Realize that I haven’t blogged since Friday, and wonder how that happened.
6:32 – I remember that I am supposed to bring donuts to work for my birthday, so I rummage through my purse in search of the Tim’s Card Len gave me.
6:32:30 - Card is missing and one handle falls off purse during search.
6:33 – Text Len to see whether he has the Tim’s Card.
6:34 – I stand in front of the coffee machine and wonder whether I should have breakfast at home or just grab something at Tim’s, since it a: it’s my birthday and b: I’ll already be in the drivethru regardless.
6:40 – Len has still not replied to my text, so I blow dry my hair with the phone tucked into my pocket (hoping I’ll feel it vibrate).
7:00 – I call Len at work asking why he has a cell phone if the ringer isn’t loud enough for him to hear. Make mental note to apologize face-to-face for early morning snarkiness.
7:01 – (I should be dressed and beginning the process of getting my stuff together by this time. Please note that I am still in my pyjamas at this time.) Realize that the 16 digit code Len gave me from the Tim’s card (so I could check the balance) also requires a PIN, I call Len back.
7:02 – Discover that balance on card is not enough for donuts. Panic about where to find a bank to withdraw cash so I can buy donuts.
7:05 – Dress for work while considering bailing on donuts (risking also the wrath of the co-workers).
7:10 – Decide to bail on Tim’s/donuts and head downstairs to make up a travel mug and breakfast on the go (BOTG).
7:11 – Coffee has burnt ‘bottom of the pot’ smell to it. Ditch BOTG. Renew panic about finding an ATM.
7:25 – Head out the door. Thankfully car doesn’t require scraping/brushing.
7:27 – Begin drive to work.
7:30 – Realize I forgot to put my pills. Ponder whether I can get away with not taking pills this morning. Decide that yes, I probably could, but no, I probably shouldn’t.
7:30:15 – Spit out a precise, monosyllablic expletive that I immediately feel bad about. Send up prayer asking for forgiveness.
7:31 – Take next right in order to go back home. Realize street has a 7/11 and an ATM!
7:32 – Consider starting my day with a Slurpee. Remember I have diabetes. Nix that idea.
7:34 – Return to car with cash, no Slurpee and only 1 glove. Search madly for glove. Open car door to realize it is on the ground. Rejoice briefly that I didn’t step on it.
7:35 – Accidentally drive through intersection with stop sign without stopping.
7:38 – Almost wipe out on patch of ice getting out of the car. Manage to stay upright, race inside, say hello and bye to the cats in a single breath. Get back in car.
7:40 – Back on the road. Very very late. Realize that I could probably drive fast enough so I wouldn’t be late.
7:43 – Put car on cruise control to maintain law-abiding status.
7:44 – Receive text from C wishing me a Happy Groundhog Day.
7:55 – Pull off highway on appropriate exit. Quick glance at the drive-thru shows the line to be exceedingly long. Bite back other words of dismay.
8:00 – Rattle off order to drive-thru attendant.
8:00:25 – Repeat order more slowly for drive-thru attendant.
8:00:45 – Repeat once more for good measure.
8:01 – Rejoice that the attendant actually said ‘You’re welcome’ after I said, ‘Thank you!”
8:03 – Receive correct order (this is a feat, let me tell you!) through drive-thru window.
8:07 – Pull into parking space. Rush into building.
8:10 – No one notices that I am late as I have brought delicious donuts.
8:11 – Sink into desk chair and breathe massive sigh of relief.


Erica said...

Happy Birthday dear sis.
Hope the rest of your day is more relaxed.
Love you.

Lisa said...
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Meridith said...

ROFLOL!!!! Sounds like your birthday is off to quite a start!!!

Hope you have a great one!!

JennGB said...

should have bought the slurpee! ;-)

Lisa said...

That sure is a rough start to a special day! Hope it is much, much better and that you have a wonderful birthday!

Lisa said...
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Mrs. JDB said...

Ha-ha... Welcome to 30hood! The little things notwithstanding, I hope this will be a delightful year for you. :)